City guy to rural man: Don’t knock civilization

I am a suburban guy who loves cities and finds concerts, movies and restaurants more exciting than camping. I tend to shop more than I hike, and this week, I’m on a family vacation.

At the moment, my family is driving through Napa Valley. The hills are rusty and tan, scattered with gnarled oaks, silvery eucalypts and pink, red and white oleander. Vineyards stretch through the valleys, with lush palm trees and agave providing an oasis for breathtaking estates.

The only time I felt like a “city kid” was at Fort Clatsop, historical point of significance to Lewis and Clark buffs.

My schoolteacher mother’s favorite curriculum is the Louisiana Purchase unit. Naturally, on a day-trip from Lincoln to Astoria via the Tillamook cheese factory, we had to stop at Fort Clatsop.

The funny thing about this historical landmark is that no one actually knows where the real one was, so something to its effect was built in the woods and tourists flock to it to learn about this vital and important chapter in American history.

Fort Clatsop’s parking lot is planted with indigenous plant species. A rustic building serves as a ranger station, museum, rest stop and gift shop. Down a forest path, the fake fort is brought to life by real actors dressed as Lewis and Clark explorers. They even had a Newfoundland dog named Seaman. These men were enthusiastic to engage wary tourists in conversation.

Everything was fun until an actor approached my mom. We quickly learned that he played Clark in a PBS documentary and travels to schools teaching about Lewis and Clark.

Politely commenting on how cool that was, my mom unwittingly welcomed a spree of soap-boxing from the fake Clark.

He believed that city kids need to be brought to the wilderness to make up for the life they’re missing in the city. His scorn for people who don’t live in fake forts dressed as explorers was clearly evident as he preached the importance of forcing children out of the city for life’s more important things.

In principle, fake Clark had a point – but what an irritating man he was. If I were shopping downtown and came across people from a rural town, enjoying a change of scene, I would never dream of verbally haranguing them about how vital the city is for discovering art, culture and entertainment.

I like hiking and relaxing in small, tired coastal towns for the change of pace it provides from the life that I love.

If fake Clark came to Seattle, I hope he could enjoy himself as much as I enjoyed sleepy Oregon. Unfortunately, just based on how he said “city,” I expect him to be close-minded and unlikely to see the exceptional joys a town with stoplights can offer.

Yes, I’m being just as judgmental as he was, but although I consider myself a city guy, I really do enjoy leaving it from time to time.

I’m also sure that I can identify as many indigenous plant species from the parking lot as the fake Clark can – I’d just like to see him try navigating Seattle by bus.